


Memory of us

by delank_89



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Angst, Clingy Dean, Infidelity, Kink Meme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:12:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2095332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delank_89/pseuds/delank_89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Graham has come to his senses and decided to end his relationship with Dean, but Dean is not yet ready to let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memory of us

**Author's Note:**

> EDITED FOR IT WAS CRAP BEFORE. HOPE IT'S LESS CRAPPY NOW.
> 
> Fill for this promt
> 
> http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/11683.html?thread=23846819#t23846819
> 
> Just a little something. Sorry for any mistakes and...hope you enjoy!

Dean knows he shouldn’t be here. He's been told quite clearly he is not wanted there, but the kiwi just can’t help himself. He’s been told quite enough times this is not the place or time to see each other, but yet again, here he is, waiting for him. 

He's sent a text announcing his presence a while ago; engine turned off not to be heard by her, her, the absolute and complete reason why the blonds' got to be out here in the street, across his lovers apartment at 2 am, hiding like a thief in the night. 

Since the first text is ignored, Dean sends a second one, then a third one and so on. About an hour later he can see some movement coming from the base of the building. The shadow made by a tree next to the doorway prevents him from discerning entirely whether someone’s coming or not. But then he sees him; in all his tallness and manliness, walking with the usual angry strut towards him when the kiwi comes unannounced after he's been told innumerable times not to even dare come near Graham's home again.

This is not even Graham's home, it’s just temporary arrangements.

He lights a cigarette while waiting for the man to reach the car, trying to keep his emotions under control. Graham hates it when he acts too clingy.

“Thought you weren’t coming,” he says in faked cheerfulness, trying to hide his eagerness as Graham opens the passenger door and sits down. The blond gets no answer apart from an annoyed grunt.

Sighing, Dean drives away towards the place they used to meet when they first started their little romance. Graham hates it when he calls it that, because for Graham, it’s no more than a one night stand, even though there were many of them, and days too.

Olny ten minutes later, they arrive at their spot. It’s a secluded place in the beach where huge rocks hide you from view and you can have sex without been seen. They know from experience.

There’s a full moon tonight, the main reason why Dean came to Graham’s and insisted so much, for it was a night such as this one that they first made love, right here, about Four months ago. 

They used to meet at least three nights or days a week. They’d leave the set after dismissing invitations of their cast mates to go for drinks or just hang out, inventing excuses just to be together a few hours before returning to the set and continue filming.

He stops the engine and looks ahead at the moonlit sea. It’s a beautiful night. He’s even brought a bottle of wine with him, though Dean knows Graham will probably decline the offer and he’ll end up drinking it alone, crying pathetically after the other man has walked away once again.

“So…how are you?” he asks, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence with small talk. Graham hates when he does that but the kiwi doesn’t really know what else to say and the silence is unbearable.

“How do you think?” Graham grunts back and the blond flinches a little even though he’s gotten quite used to the other man’s change in tone for about a month, ever since she decided it was too awful to be away from her beloved husband and came to New Zealand to be with him, bringing along their little girl until shooting is over.

“Was she asleep?” Dean asks in a wary tone, knowing full well how much it bothers Graham when he even remotely addresses his wife.

“Don’t…” The Scot says in a menacing tone so he leaves it at that. Sighing in defeat, the blond steps out of the car, carrying the bottle with him and walks down to their spot to sit down on the sand, gazing ahead to admire the beautiful view. 

The sound of the passenger’s door as it opens and closes catches Dean's attention and he waits for the sound of Graham’s footsteps coming towards him, or walking away from him; the second option being more often of late. He smiles relived when it’s the first one and Graham’s tall form blokes out the view. He doesn’t mind, for he prefers this view anyway.

“How long are you going to continue with this nonsense, Dean?” Graham’s voice sounds tired and the blonds' smile fades.

“What nonsense are you referring to? My feelings for you? The pain in my guts I feel every time I see you with her? …My love for you?” he asks with increased despair and Dean can hear his own voice begin to crack at the end. With eyes stinging, he opens the bottle angrily to take a few long gulps from it. The wine soothes his aching heart slightly, but not nearly enough for the blond to be able to stop the tears that are about to come.

“Don’t come to me with that crap again, Dean,” Graham says, starting to sound very frustrated. 

The man is standing in front of him with his arms folded over his chest, looking distant and unattainable, very different from the Graham that held him with love and care just a few moons back, while they made passionate love under the moonlight in this very same spot.

Dean lets out a bitter laugh while shaking his head in disbelief and drinks some more from the bottle.

“I’m sorry if my feelings are an inconvenient to you now that your wife has remembered you exist!” he snaps, resentment thick in his voice. He regrets it immediately when the kicked sand hits his face. 

“You don’t know anything about her. Don’t talk about her,” Graham threatens and Dean keeps quiet. 

Ruffling his hair to get rid of the sand, Dean takes another gulp of wine, and even though he managed to close his eyes a millisecond before the sand hit him, he couldn’t cover the mouth of the bottle so he ends up spiting that mouthful out. The blond can feel the first tears running down his face and angrily wipes them before Graham can see them. 

“I’m not going to feel sorry for you,” the tall men says and the indifference in the Scot's tone bring fresh tears to his eyes and the kiwi is unable to stop them as they continue to come and come. 

He’s not sure why he does this to himself. Graham has told him in every possible way to stay away from him, to forget about their affair and move on, but he continues to push himself into this hurtful situation.

Dean’s sobbing by now and tries to drown the sobs with more wine. There are times when Graham would just tell him off and walk away, leaving him broken and alone; but there are other times, when his sorry state moves the Scot and he ends up kneeling down to offer some comfort, like today. 

“Dean,” Graham says his name in a worried tone and he looks up to meet the bald mans eyes.

“I can’t just move on, Graham…I…I care too much…I love you,” he sobs out and reaches the older man shoulders with his arms to try and hug him, to hold him close just a little while longer; but like always, his arms are yanked away and he’s slightly pushed back.

“Well you’re gonna have to, because I love my wife and what you and me had was just relief sex, nothing more,” Graham says exasperated as he stands up again.

“Maybe for you it was only that,” he says, voice clogged by now. “I love you, Graham,” Dean tries again.

“Don’t go there, Dean!” Graham tells him and turns around, walking a few paces away from him sighing, then turns to face him again. “You and I…it was a mistake, nothing more.”

“Oh but it wasn’t me who seduced you, I didn’t…I was fine before this,” Dean sobs as he stands up. “It‘s all your fault…and I’m the one who has to pay now.”

Dean hits a bone and Graham covers his face with both hands. “Christ Dean, I know! But still, it was a mistake…I made a mistake and it needs to end.” Graham explains as he locks eyes with the kiwi. “I don’t want you anymore and I definitely not love you…just as a friend.”

“I don’t believe you!” he snaps at Graham and walks up to him looking up, straight in the man’s eyes. The older man’s eyes soften a little and sighs. 

The worst part of it all is that he does believe him. Dean knows Graham doesn’t love him. He’s just pushing his luck.

“This has to stop. When are you going to get it into your thick head?” Graham asks him in a sweeter tone than before and the blond takes advantage of this small slip. He makes a second attempt at embracing the body in front of him, and this time he succeeds. Feeling the familiar arms engulf him completely, Dean feels safe and happy again. 

“Please, Graham, please… stay with me tonight,” he shamelessly begs. Graham’s body tenses up and hands circle around his waist to push him away but he clings to the other man’s neck with fervor and doesn’t let go. “Please…just tonight…just one more night.”

“I can’t,” Graham is quick to answer but he catches the slight hesitance and clings on to it with all his might.

“Graham, please… I need you inside me,” he whispers on the other man's ear and kisses him there, and then his cheek, and the side of his mouth, loving how the grey beard scratches his face. The blond finally catches the older man’s mouth and kisses it hungrily, savoring every corner he can before he’s pushed away. Graham’s strong hands hold him at arms lenght and they stare into each other's eyes for few seconds. Dean knows Graham’s considering it and he prays internally for the other man to cave.

“You are pain in my ass, O’Gorman,” says Graham with a smirk on his face and he smiles happily for he knows what’s coming. 

“I think it’s the other way around,” he jokes and Graham launches himself at him.

Their mouths clash with a clang and Graham’s big hands roam hungrily over his back, and down to cup his ass cheeks and squeezing them hard. He’s turned around a bit harshly and he falls against his car with a thud. Graham’s body looms over behind him and the blond feels completely at the older man’s mercy, just like every other time. He was often the one to initiate their coupling, only to be relieved from charge as Graham’s powerful body owns him completely. Tonight is no different.

It hurts, for there is no preparation and it's a bit harder than he’d rather like and Dean grimaces as he is pressed face first against his car, penetrated slowly. This is exactly what he needs right now. He needs to feel Graham inside him, fucking him hard from behind; the kiwi needs to be able to feel the other man for the next few days so he can go on for a little while longer before he starts feeling the longing and starts begging again.

It ends too quick for his liking and as he stands up straight, trying to regain his normal breathing rate, he hears the man behind him zipping his pants back up and securing them in place. 

This is the moment Dean hates the most, when reason has won over lust in Graham’s head and he can almost hear the man behind him regrettingfucking him, because that’s all this is to Graham; just fucking, and it pains the blond deeply every time it ends. It’s his own fault and he knows it. He should have never let himself fall into this man’s charm in the first place. He knew he was a married man from the beginning and still he let himself be swayed off his feet.

“I have to go,” Dean hears Graham say in that gruff voice he loves so much so he turns around to face him; broken and emotionally drenched. He pulls his pants back on as well and secures it with his belt. 

“I know,” he says and he’s very aware of how defeated his voice sounds, but Dean just doesn’t care. 

He makes for his car and opens the driver’s door, expecting to drive Graham home but the taller man just stands there beside the forgotten bottle that has toppled over in their haste at sating their need and is now almost empty, the sand stained red around it. “Well, are you going to stand there all night? Let me drive you.”

“No,” the man simply says and starts walking away from the car, “I’d rather walk. Goodbye, Dean.”

And that's it. That's what their relationship has become of late. Dean feels so rejected he can’t even reply to the farewell; he just sits inside his car and closes the door, staring after the man’s retreating form. Tears start to gather anew in his eyes and he angrily wipes them. He’s done crying over Graham. The man won’t ever leave his family for him, and quite frankly, the blonds' not very sure he’d want him too. He would hate to become a home-wrecker. Graham’s little girl needs him way more than he anyway. 

He decides it right then; Graham is not for him, never was and never will be, and even if it hurts more than he can handle, he’ll have to get used to the idea. It’ll be hard of course, for there’s still a lot of filming to do and Dean will have to see the man he’s fallen so hard for every day. He’s just going to have to endure until the movie is finished and everybody’s returned home, including Graham and family. And maybe after that, when his feelings get dulled by time, he’ll be able to move on.

Starting the engine and giving one last glance at Graham’s retreating from, he drives away, saying farewell to all the beautiful moments under that moonlit sky. He’ll cherish them forever, but they’ll remind just memories. They could never be more than that.


End file.
